Recovery is the process of healing pain and moving forward.  For a cancer survivor, the sickness can linger long after the illness has been treated.  The residual yuck clouded my thoughts and slowed my movements.  I’m not who I used to be.  Everything is different now.  Where did my confidence go?  Will anyone love me now?  A shower is great for washing away dirt.  What about the shame and confusion?  You can’t wash your insides out.  Crying became an effective way for me to release the pain and I’m sure my neighbor thought, “What is that girl’s problem?”

I’ve been through a lot and healing takes time.  We have to grieve what we’ve lost, and it may take awhile, but it’s better to heal the right way than to take short cuts, numb out or pretend everything is fine.  The problem with pretending everything is fine is that your body/mind/spirit knows better and feelings don’t like to stay bottled up.  My first blog post is becoming very honest.  I’m sharing this because the truth sets me free.  Cutting is a form of self-harm, a short term solution for long term pain.  This happened a few years ago.

Cutting is not the answer.  There are healthy ways to deal with messy feelings: exercise, write in a journal, make art, call a friend, talk to a therapist, eat a healthy dinner, watch a funny movie and get a good night sleep.  Each of us has an inner child who is yearning for love and attention.  Soothe her or him with healing words.  “I’m here for you, everything is okay.  You are safe now, the past is over.  We can create a happy, loving, amazing future.  The angels are cheering us on.”

Namaste,

Julie