Or rather how I plan to get out of my rut. Winter is here and I hate it. Sorry, that doesn’t sound very optimistic. Honest, yes. It’s very cold outside and since I don’t have much meat on my bones, it makes it that much worse. I couldn’t bring myself to take a walk today, even though I know how to bundle up and face the cold. I’m going to have to start exercising indoors. I keep telling myself to embrace winter and see it for what it is: a time to rest, recuperate, and reflect. The flowers will bloom again and everything will be lush and green.

I live in Ohio which has four distinct seasons. To say I’m looking forward to spring and summer is an understatement. And trying to get out of a rut while going into winter could be a bit of a challenge. Needless to say, I need to think about moving to a warmer climate. I moved into this apartment in November of 2012. The first few years went pretty good, the last few not as good. I just renewed my lease for another year and it will be up in November of 2017. I’ve lived here a long time, but the book is done, that’s why I needed to be here. Now, I need to move forward onto a new path which I think will become clearer as the year progresses.

I’m hoping it will be a job opportunity, friendship, or relationship that allows me to find a new living situation. And I know I have everything I need right here. I can juice here. I can exercise here. I can write and make art here. This apartment as far as apartments go is wonderful, and I’m very grateful to live here, I just think I could be happier in a different environment. I’m too isolated here, but that’s because I’m not being very social. Back to the original topic of getting out of a rut. I’ve started showering in the morning and getting dressed rather than staying in my pajamas. I’ve noticed I’m a lot more productive when I show up for the day. I can then do laundry or clean or exercise or go to the grocery store. It’s a completely different mindset.

Okay, so what else? I need to get a haircut. It’s gotten really long and unruly. I never got it fixed after I let my mom cut it back in May. I have to braid my ponytail because it’s just that long, and I like to keep it out of my way most of the time. I need to get the lump looked at to see if it’s a recurrence or nothing. I need to start eating healthier and exercising more. I need to stay positive and optimistic. I need to start dating. I need to get a part-time job. I need to continue marketing the cancer book. I need to continue writing because it makes me happy. I have a list of fun things to do next year, and that keeps me going. I just hope that I am well enough to do them. I have to be well enough to do them. I have to keep fighting and surviving. I’m a survivor and that’s how I can inspire others – by not being angry or bitter. By continuing to love and learn and look forward to warmer days and starry nights.

Have a great week,

Julie