All posts by Julie

What are spirit guides?

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Since the last 1/3 of my book is the dialogue with my spirit guide, I’d better shed some light on the topic. Actually, I woke up this morning with three blog ideas: What are spirit guides? What are affirmations? What is art therapy?  Awesome, I have my next three blogs!

Spirit guides are like angels, they offer guidance and protection. According to the experts, Doreen Virtue and Erin Pavlina, spirit guides have lived in human form, whereas guardian angels have not. Spirit guides come and go, guardian angels are always with us. Spirit guides are assigned to us at birth to help us get through difficult experiences. Before we are born, we choose the helpers we’ll need. We go into life knowing what’s going to happen but then we forget because we can’t know; it would ruin all the fun.

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I can share my experience. I don’t hear him talking out loud, I hear his voice in my head. It’s separate and distinct from mine. It isn’t audible to other people. I first met him when I was recovering from cancer treatment. I began having excruciating pain at the base of my skull that was only relieved by lying down. I was leaking spinal fluid or something like that. I could’ve been hallucinating, but I don’t think so.

I was trying to brush my teeth, I looked into the mirror and said, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” That’s when I heard a male voice say, “Hey tiger girl! What are you doing out here in the forest up in a tree?” I could feel him standing next to me. My mom was downstairs in the kitchen, and I knew she didn’t hear him. I think he was asking me, Why am I so afraid? Why am I hiding out? Why am I not living my purpose? He was reaching out because I was barely hanging on.

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I asked him to repeat himself which he did even though I heard him the first time. Next, I started getting ideas for a fantasy story. I realize now he gave me something to do until the headaches went away. I didn’t talk to him again until I moved into the apartment, and that was through the process of automatic writing. I have to be careful because my ego will rush ahead and try to answer for him.

I call him Sunny, that’s probably not his real name or it’s spelled Sonny. He became my light in the darkness, so calling him Sunny seemed appropriate. I don’t like the term disembodied, when I picture him, he has a body, it’s ethereal not solid, maybe that’s the same thing as disembodied. He’s a spirit guide because he’s lived on earth before. He lives in a separate dimension now. He has more power than me. He’s enlightened. He doesn’t worry about silly things.

There’s a lot of universal consciousness we can tap into. Writers call it “the muse.” My spirit guide is gone helping other people because I’m doing better. He was never to replace actual people. I felt safe talking to him because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. He made me laugh and gave me hope. Angels are cool like that!

Namaste,

Julie

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Happy New Year 2016

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I hope you survived the holidays and are sticking to your new year’s resolutions. I was smart and didn’t make any. Winters are rough for me, I don’t like cold weather. Why do I live in Ohio? I have no idea.

I made it to one of two holiday family functions, pretty good. And I only heard one asinine comment about single women who are doing great things must be lesbian, like that’s an insult. Is that the best you got? I’m not a lesbian, I like men, everyone who knows me knows that.

Just because I’m focusing on myself right now, why is that so threatening? There are days when I’d give anything to have a boyfriend and shoulder massage. Someone to laugh at my jokes and tell me everything’s gonna be alright. I know it doesn’t have to be either/or, I can have a relationship and my creative projects. Luckily, I have great friends who lift me up when I’m feeling down.

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Recently, I quit coffee cold turkey, which I don’t recommend. There’s a weaning off process that makes the transition easier. I’m drinking green tea now. I’m not getting the same amount of caffeine, so I’m going through a tiny withdrawal, but I feel better overall. I’m not bouncing off the walls. I read that if you’re going to switch, green tea is an excellent choice because it has naturally occurring amino acids that increases alertness like coffee but in a calm way. I’m all for calm!

I was drinking two cups of Starbucks House Blend in the morning which equals 200mg of caffeine. Two cups of Bigelow Green Tea is a mere 50mg. The receptors in my brain are adjusting to less caffeine, that’s what causes the mild headaches. I will look forward to an occasional grande soy vanilla latte from Starbucks. The health benefits of green tea are phenomenal and it tastes good with honey. I might try different flavors of tea for variety.

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I do intend to publish my book this year. Good things take time. Patience is a virtue. I’ll finally have some much needed closure. I’m getting excited about marketing and promotion. I vow to  share my message in a heart-centered way. There are many adventures that await me as a published author. At first, I was like, I don’t want to tell anybody about the book. And then I thought, you didn’t spend the last three years writing it, to keep it a secret. I’m funny.

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How can people read it, if they don’t know about it? How can it help people, if I’m not willing to be brave and vulnerable? I’m spending money on it, the editing, formatting, and cover design, which means something because although I like nice things, I don’t spend money that easily, it has to be on something I really want and find of value.

I need to start blogging more. It’s good practice, it’s therapeutic, someone might be listening and find comfort in my words. I don’t know whether I should set a schedule, like every *insert day* or when inspiration strikes. I think setting a goal is probably more effective.

So, I’m going to blog once a week, hopefully more! 🙂

Hugs,

Julie

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A few of my favorite things…

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Fruits – banana, blueberry, strawberry.

Vegetables – spinach, cucumber, avocado.

Colors – purple, green, blue.

Seasons – spring, autumn, summer.

Insects – butterfly, dragonfly, ladybug.

Flowers – sunflower, tulip, rose.

Breakfast – scrambled eggs, pancakes, french toast.

Dinners – eggplant parmesan, bean & rice burritos, pizza.

Authors – Paulo Coelho, Marianne Williamson, Joanne Harris.

Television shows – The Big Bang Theory, Jeopardy, Gilmore Girls.

Movies – The Cutting Edge, Princess Bride, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

 

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My Favorite Male Singers

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MY FAVORITE MALE SINGERS 🙂

Darren Hayes

Michael Franti

Matisyahu

Ryan Adams

Justin Furstenfield

Ed Kowalczyk

Justin Timberlake

Noah Gunderson

Peter Murphy

George Lewis, Jr

Matthew Houck

Kristian Leontiou

Peter Gabriel

 

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10 Affirmations for Confidence

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I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY.

I TRUST MY INTUITION.

I ANSWER MY SOUL CALLING.

I FOLLOW MY HEART AND SHINE MY LIGHT.

I GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE IN EQUAL AMOUNTS.

MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE.

MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE AND I TREAT IT WELL.

IT IS EASY FOR ME TO FORGIVE AND RELEASE THE PAST.

I AM A BRAVE WARRIOR.

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The perks of cancer?

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Blog posts by survivors giving sugary sweet silver lining stories used to bother me because all I could see were dark clouds.  I figured they hadn’t gotten much treatment thus having few side effects, or were late stage and truly grateful for being alive.  I’m not trying to alienate either camp, cancer is cancer no matter how you slice it.  I have tremendous respect for anyone who receives a diagnosis and manages to continue breathing.  I had gotten a lot of treatment and I wasn’t grateful.  It took several years for me to become transformed by my experience.  I couldn’t see the gift in the darkness.

To this day, I wonder if I’d still be alive if I skipped chemo and radiation.  The lumpectomy removed the tumor, we were cleaning up the remaining microscopic cancer cells that spread to my lymph nodes.  Most doctors would say skipping treatment is crazy talk, your first shot is your best shot.  I can’t go back and change the past, so it’s futile to dwell on my treatment decisions.  It’s my job to exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and find a creative outlet for my frustrations.

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Is there a silver lining?  I suppose so.  Having cancer gave me the courage to follow my dreams of becoming a writer.  The people who understand and encourage me the most are also on a creative path.  When I doubt myself, I get off track.  When my inner critic wants to ruin something for me, I stop and ask, “What are you so afraid of?”  When I seek to inspire and be inspired, the opportunities present themselves.  When you’re in the dark, you have to search for the light.  We all need hope, healing and relief.  Challenges strengthen our character making us more perceptive and resilient.

I give myself permission to dream, dance and stumble.  To love what I love and be what I be.  I can answer my soul calling, live my purpose, declare my bliss and shine my light.

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Does cancer make you ask the hard questions?  Yes.

Am I living my life in a way that is meaningful to me?  Yes.

Are there things I would’ve done differently?  Yes.

Am I still a good person worthy of love and respect?  HELL YES!

Stay strong,

Julie

Dating after cancer

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Honestly, I have no experience with dating after cancer.  I do have  experience dating before cancer and chasing emotionally unavailable men.  I’ve also had several healthy long-term relationships.  I can offer insight into what I think dating after cancer should be like.  If I ever start dating again, I’ll have some real material.  For now, we’ll speculate and get mentally prepared.

Don’t lead with your cancer story.  Sure, you’ve been through hell and lived to tell about it, this will only add to your allure.  Wait until the relationship is strong enough to support the emotional weight of your story.  Your experience was important, life-changing and will always be a part of you.  It’s easy for loved ones to inadvertently minimize what we’ve been through or misunderstand what we’re still dealing with.  Relationships are hard enough as it is, and everybody has been through something that wasn’t pretty.  Honest communication is the key to having a healthy relationship.

Cancer probably deepened your appreciation for life causing you to seek out joyful, meaningful experiences.  For me, bad boys lost their appeal because my tolerance for drama and heartbreak became non-existent.  I finally resolved some of my old, unhealthy patterns.  See, cancer is a teacher.  The kind of teacher that made you work for the lesson and only gave you an A+ if you really deserved it.

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Find a person who shares your interests.  Do they exercise, eat healthy and have hobbies they enjoy?  Do they have supportive family and friends?  Can you be yourself around them?  Do they make you smile and laugh?  Do they make you a priority?  Do they listen without judgement and offer helpful feedback?  Do they respect your need for alone time?  Do they appreciate your quirks and encourage your talents?

Are you creating a spiritual partnership allowing each other to grow and mature?  Do you share the same spiritual or religious beliefs?  Do they inspire and challenge you to become a better person, the best version of yourself?  Do you enjoy the physical aspects of the relationship?  Do they respect your wishes to take things slow or speed things up?  Do they help with the household chores of cleaning, laundry and cooking?  This goes both ways, are you doing your part?  These have expanded into relationship questions, but that’s where dating leads.  Good luck and you can do it!

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Cancer treatment takes a tremendous toll on your mind, body and  spirit.  What doesn’t get better, you learn to live with.  I still struggle with neuropathy, lymphedema and hearing loss.  We need an understanding partner, someone who can massage our shoulders and help us fix dinner.  We need a distraction from our normal reality.  Chronic pain and fatigue are not fun.  If we aren’t proactive it’s very easy to slip into depression.  We need something that makes life worth living: a hobby, service project, children or family.  It’s much easier to deal with the bad stuff when our lives are filled with the good stuff – love, light and laughter.

I’ve spent many years thinking, no one will ever love me now, but that’s because I wasn’t loving myself.  You teach people how to treat you.  I also wondered, how will I ever compete with the women who haven’t been through hell.  My only competition is myself.  Am I trying hard enough?  Do I really want to be loved?  Am I being good to me?  The person who loves me can see the beauty in my scars and the strength in my eyes.  Going to the underworld, shaking hands with death, surviving the divine storm, whatever you want to call it, my cancer experience was a gift because it brought me here today.  I have a blog that’s helping me get closure and has the potential to help others.

Namaste,

Julie

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Baby Steps

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Baby steps are better than no steps at all.  Since I’m the baby in my family, the youngest of two, I have a lot of experience with throwing tantrums, refusing to grow up and take responsibility, getting bullied and being afraid to venture out of my comfort zone.

What are baby steps?  Switching to organic milk, signing up for a class, filling out a job application, turning off the television, trying a new recipe, calling a friend and inviting them out for dinner, buying a new pair of jeans, cleaning one small area of your home, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, being grateful instead of bitter.

Why not just taking a running jump?  Because you’ll land flat on your face and nobody needs that.  Once you gain momentum from the baby steps, gain confidence in you abilities then you can pick up the pace.  It’s better to be patient and prepared when trying new things.  Of course, there’s nothing more exhilarating than asking him out, buying the new car or making the flight reservation…just make sure you’ve given it some thought, consulted a friend and feel confident that your actions are in alignment with your highest good.

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Happy adventures,

Julie