I was an exhibitor on Inspirational Avenue at the Bay Area Book Festival in Berkeley, California this past weekend June 4-5. My book made it’s first public appearance, and I would have to say it held up pretty well, and I was quite proud to show it off. Also a little nervous!

It wasn’t a baby step; it was a giant leap into the unknown. I got lost, confused, overwhelmed, and frustrated. I also realized my strength and that people are genuinely kindhearted and willing to offer directions and support. I faced my fears, challenged my ocd, and met a ton of cool people. Friday night was the hardest because I walked two blocks in the wrong direction, had trouble finding my hotel even though it was right in front of me. When I got into my room, I couldn’t figure out the air conditioner and thought it was broken. I think I was just tired and hungry and in shock at my new location.

This was me on the BART, the underground rapid transit, on Friday night. Where am I? I’m not in Kansas anymore, lol.

Saturday was a bit hectic, too. I got a late start and skipped breakfast. I’m not a morning person and haven’t worked in a few years, so this probably wasn’t too off the mark. I had to get the books from FedEx, set up the table, and greet people. Having never done a book fair, I was lucky to be matched with Susan, who I learned a lot from about booth etiquette and how to talk about my book. I ended up giving out some free copies. I met a lot of survivors and felt very enriched and inspired. I can only hope my book provides them with some comfort.

A few people I remember are: Toni, Selma, Erin, and Mika (who comforted me on the BART as we both headed to the airport on Monday, she was going to India to have surgery for colon cancer. Here she was facing cancer, and I was just crying because I’m a big baby.) I also remember a lady from Columbus who had breast cancer, you bought my book on Saturday, but I don’t remember your name. I hope you are doing well! 🙂

I had a “How are you feeling?” sign on my table which allowed people to process a quick feeling state. I realized that all feelings are valuable and that I was quick to judge, which isn’t very therapeutic on my part.

Saturday night I went out to dinner with my friend, Mike, who lives in SF.  We talked about energy healing. It was great to meet him in person as we had only talked in email. I had some very good Pad Thai at a restaurant, but I forget the name. I took this picture that night.

Sunday went better because I got Starbucks for breakfast. I haven’t had a vanilla latte in a while and it tasted like heaven! 🙂

On Sunday night, I went out to dinner with Colin, he was an exhibitor a few booths down representing the Gurdjieff library and Fourth Way books. The hotel was so pretty that I took this picture in the hallway.

Colin and I walked around the festival after it was over which was a nice ending to the weekend. We got to see the rest of the event that we didn’t get to see as we were stuck at our tables. There was a very good crowd at the festival. People in Berkeley are very open-minded and spiritual. I felt somewhat at home. Although, it’s not humid there, and I didn’t need the shorts I brought, lol.

I got to meet some of the other exhibitors on my street: Rosy, Patty, and Larry. We swapped books, so now I have some good books to read at night. I took 20 books and brought 2 home, so I would say that was a productive time. Berkeley reminded me of downtown Cincinnati or Boulder because of the homeless people. It was kind of sad. I didn’t give them change even though I should have. It doesn’t encourage them; it helps them to know there are kind people in the world who want to end suffering not maintain it.

Dinner at Cafe Tibet: dumplings and soup.

Tree in Berkeley.  Of course, I found a cool tree to admire.

Notorious San Francisco fog.

I sat by two amazing women on the flights out: Ginger (if you’re reading this, the plane exhaust smell trumped the shampoo smell, lol) and Elena (I hope you had a good time with Geiv and are enjoying Hawaii! Take care my dear.) We had great conversations. I think the Universe brings the exact people we need into our lives. I didn’t talk to anyone on the way home, I watched the Big Bang Theory and Brave. Although, I fell asleep and didn’t see much of it.

Mushroom and spinach crepe before my flight home.

What have I noticed since being home? Well, I’ve cried some more. I think it was an emotional reaction to everything that I accomplished. On Tuesday, I went to therapy and the grocery. I felt like a different person, like the old me, confident and self-assured. After the session, my therapist sat with my mom and me for a few minutes in the lobby, and I think we all knew that I had experienced a major breakthrough. I am grateful for everyone who helped me get to where I am now. I just hope I can continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and improve my quality of life.

I had some jet lag today and finally unpacked my suitcase. The clothes are sitting on the couch, hopefully they will find their way into the washer tomorrow. I need to stay caught up so that I can continue moving forward and creating the life I want. I realized something, I need to be happy with my life, rather than wanting someone to become my life. I got a taste of freedom and enjoyed my adventure. The most important thing I realized is that I am pretty damn amazing and my bitterness about getting cancer is gone. Hallelujah.

Have a good week,

Julie